A not so frugal us of the letter F, but somehow it works!
Fancy footwork from our fat Fannied first lady friend as she frightens first graders in (wish it were florida that would be fitting), but I think it was in Phoenix or perhaps France, forget about it, I don’t remember the flippin state, forgive me. The freak of fantasyville has put the food brigade into a fever pitch. Far from the failing far left future Queen Michelle speaks to first graders about her favorite fatty foods. “ I like Mexican, French, Spanish, Thai, Russian, Chinese, Italian and every other Nation in the world but good ole American cuisine. Why didn’t she freely give up the American cuisine, maybe Im facilitating too much animosity in this not so favorable report, but then again anything she says regarding fried fatty foods is frankly a farce to freedom loving Feople (people, but who is reading it anyway?). She has become fanatical and has called in the Calvary to rid the fat kids of their food in first grade by fostering a family atmosphere of parenthood from her anf the Federal government . Ok, Im giving up the not so fruitful and facetious F placement and on to the reporting.
Michelle addressed this group of first graders recently and one of them asked her what her favorite food was and she said “I love french fries, any time, all day, every meal, with mayonnaise, with motor oil and lard, I love french fries or something like that but her answer was completely opposite of the real reason she was at the school in the first palce. I always reserve writers freedom of embelishment and I exercise it frequently (another F word, fabulous and I do remain flavorable in my fasiculaltions) to exaggerate a little to make my point.” A valuable tool I learned from the mainstream media in the area.
Now, recall she was there to relay to them that they should eat good foods and stay away from french fries but ended up telling them you eat all the fatty food you want and you too can become first lady. For some reason the buxom, plump, ok, the fat arse frolicking feline female first lady is not the best representative to be going out in public to speak about the virtues of eating well and avoiding fatty fried foods.
For the same reason I would not ask a bulemic person to gorge themselves, I would not invite Michelle into my school or assume the role of my childs nutritional advisor, get my reasoning here? She may even suggest that I eat more veggies but then again I am not taking on the government assigned role of “food Nazi” to my children.
Tony the Tiger, Nascar drivers, Ronald McDonald, Girl Scout Cookies, fast food restaurants and grocery chains are under attack from the left because the Michelle and the Obama administration says that kids are getting fat because of the free market and restaurants who do not bridle the calories of their meals and snacks will be fined and regulated by the fed. Have you ever heard of something so far fetched and unbelieveable? The governement telling you how to eat, where to eat and how much to consume. Wait, I think I just heard a group of forefathers collectively roll over in their graves.
Childhood obesity exists because the restaurants cook fatty foods. Hey guys this is America and we have freedom of choice! I can choose to eat any way that I want to. I am solely responsible for everything that I allow to happen to me. I am happy with that. I don’t need an overweight first lady telling me what is good for me. I wouldn’t hire a fat fitness trainer or a fat cardiologist to show me how to lose weight…………so in kind I do not need a fat first lady telling me or my kids how to eat, end of sentence. Next paragraph!
The sad thing is the regulation is being enforced by the Federal trade Comission, Center for Disease Control and Prevention, and the Food and Drug Administration and the US Dept of Agriculture, remember the group that is going to take your farms and seize all your seed and food with the White House Rural Council and the Food and Modernization Act (remember, cant keep seeds, grow your own food or sell it at the bottom of the driveway, same people, same goal!) and feed all the fat first graders channeling it all through the Dept of Homeland Security and Janet Napolitano. Im loving this fodder! I picked a great time to blog! I have so many great topics to write about. The blogs come real easy as these clowns try to take over the world with Socialism.
For two years the government has spent billions on this “save the fat kid initiative” and the FDA cannot find or report that any kids are getting skinnier or have lost any significant amount of weight. Ever gone to eat with your kid at lunch, God bless em, those kitchen ladies are so talented and Im sure when they get home they cook up one heck of a meal, but while they are under the Gulag and his cut throat gang of thugs, you eat shoe leather and cardboard. I watch sadly as the the little anemic skinny kids wilt away attempting to maintain their weight on such little substenance, I slip them a rubber buscuit when the monitors are not looking because I feel sorry for them, they “look hungry.” I also sit and watch the hungry fat kids steal shoe leather from the skinny kids tray when they are not looking or trying to pass a piece of rubber past their windpipe just to survive till they get home to honk down a twinkie. Myself, I buy an extra sweet tea, yes I have to bring my own sugar, I strategically place the cardboard on the back of my tounge, wiggle my head from side to side and with the expert timing of a crane scooping tiny fish from the lake, I gulp rapidly, let out a moan of displeasure, and the bolus haphazardly enters my stomach. Why do I do this, because my daughter wants me there, you know to do the daddy thing.
My nine year daughter observing me typing just now said, “dad, what are you writing about tonight?” Using the opportunity to enlighten that big sponge between her ears, I reply, President Obama and his plump wife are trying to make sure you don’t get fat and make sure the fat kids get skinny and they will make sure the food tatses bad so you want eat as much bad food and the Government gets to save the world. She replied, “Whatever and throws a “W” across her forehead with her fingers and continues, Yuuuuuck dad, that sounds nasty and started retreating back to her room, stops mid voyage, turns and says, Dad, by the way there are no fat kids at my school” DILEMMA! One, I have either instilled in her that it is not important to look upon those things when determining friends (which is my solemn wish), two, there are really no fat kids in the school, three, she lies real well or four, The Michelle Obama Federal Food Fat to Skinny kids hit squad is working! Another DILEMMA!
Now that should make the headlines tomorrow, “The Feds have slimmed down the fat kids and saved their lives, told you it works,
” God only knows the rest of my blog wont be in the paper tomorrow. The only news blog that dares to report “ the other side” is the Bradley County News, see ya later! Eat well or the Fed will feed you!